I hate waiting. My skin crawled with impatience in the coffee line this morning, even though there was nowhere I needed to be.
Sometimes this feeling is what keeps me from praying. It’s not God’s wise “no” to my prayers that I dread most. It’s that terrible suspended space between my call and God’s response. The silent waiting room where I stew in frustration, where I want to grab God’s shoulders and shake them, shouting, “Spit it out already! Say something! Do something! Anything! What on earth are you waiting for?”
It was only recently, after a long season of such frustration, that a question occurred to me: Am I the one waiting on God here, or is God the one waiting on me?
The prophet Isaiah addresses a people who’ve been begging for answers that seem too slow in coming:
Nonetheless, the Lord is waiting to be merciful to you,
and will rise up to show you compassion.
The Lord is a God of justice;
happy are all who wait for him. (Isa 30:18)
Hold on just a minute, Isaiah. What do you mean that God is “waiting to be merciful” to us? The clear implication is that the cause of this painful delay is not coming from God’s end; it is coming from Israel’s. They have not been ready to receive the mercy that God desires to give. Could it be that I have experienced the exact same thing? The mercy was ready a long time ago. The “yes” was already spoken. It is God who’s been waiting on me.
But then the prophet’s message takes another strange turn—“happy are all who wait for God.” If God is already waiting to be gracious to me, why would I need to wait on God?
I honestly don’t know the answer to this question. I only know the reality—we do often end up waiting to see God act, far longer than we’d wish. Isaiah denies the fantasy of instant gratification, the false promise of a world where there will never be a delay between our calling and God’s answer, where there will never be gap over which faith and trust must carry us. Sometimes God waits on us. Sometimes we wait on God.
But here’s the thought that strikes me as I listen to Isaiah—how much better it is to wait on God than to leave God waiting on me. Because in the latter case, it is me who is depriving myself and delaying my own answer. God is willing and ready to act, but I am not yet showing up. When I wait on God, I don’t control the timing—that is God’s to decide. But I can at least ensure that I will receive the gift the moment it arrives.
There will always be waiting in life. Perhaps for some reason owing to God’s wisdom, perhaps because the world itself is complicated and so are human hearts. But if there must be waiting, in as much as it is possible, let it be us waiting on God and not the other way around. That is the fastest route to any good we are seeking. Sometimes the mail is delayed, and we must wait for it. But we will still receive it faster by waiting patiently than by panicking and running around engineering our own solutions so that the Carrier must chase us halfway across the world to finally make the delivery.
Those who become the wait-ers will be the first to find themselves blessed. Because they will be the one at home and awake whenever the gift arrives.
A prayer for the impatient: I hear you, God. You’ve been waiting for me. Let that wait end today. Let the waiting now be mine, so that you can be the one who comes with graciousness—the very moment you deem right.
